New Year’s Resolutions


We’ve had our Christmas, yes, we surely have.  We’ve had the Christmas Story and the gifts and the music and the Santa magic and the food. Oh, the food.  We’ve eaten, and we’ve eaten well because, after all, it’s a party/Christmas Eve/Christmas Day/Boxing Day/New Year’s Eve/Thursday afternoon. Now, all we have left are the tiny pieces of wrapping paper that the dogs are found chewing, and the sadly browning, still-decorated tree dropping needles all over the festively red tree skirt (best 60 pesos I ever spent).  I figure if I ignore it long enough my parents will eventually shrug, sigh, and start packing up the garland while I am at work next week.

This is post-Christmas at our house, slightly less than ideal to be sure, and the time is ripe for a few New Year’s Resolutions.  I don’t know who invented resolutions, but it must have been a brilliant soul to introduce them to the general population at a time of year when we are at our most vulnerable:  uncomfortably full, draped all over our living room furniture, wishing we would just buy the fake tree already and save ourselves a bit of heartache.

I wasn’t sure what to include in my list this year. They say the top failed New Year’s resolution is losing weight.  I’ve made that one every year for the past 7 years,  ever since I resolved to lose those last five post-baby pounds.  That got boring about eight (gained) pounds ago. And what’s more, why should I be the only one held to a set of promises I made when I was irrationally full of chocolate?  This year I’ve decided that I’ve had all the fun long enough. I am including here some resolutions that I think my kids should make.

And so, here we have (with careful consideration) Leza’s children’s 2014 New Year’s Resolutions:

1)      Learn to tell at least 4 decent knock-knock jokes each; while simultaneously teaching our Mexican dad what a knock-knock joke is and why it’s funny.  This is the only way our mother will continue riding in the same car with the three of us.

2)      Understand that when the bathroom door is closed, we could ask our father or simply wait out the agony of not having a matching pair of socks until our mother emerges two and a half minutes later.

3)      Acknowledge our mother at school when she wants to say hi, even though she will try to be funny and it will be mortifying.

4)      Remember, just once in awhile, to look around us and remember that we are growing up in a wondrous time, in a magical place, and we are blessed beyond measure.

Happy New Year to all.