Yes, indeed. It’s that back-to-school time of year again. I can almost feel the waves of pure, undiluted joy from my readers as I type this. Being a teacher, I know that on day one there will be those parents (possibly you) who are going to make it look like they can hardly drag themselves from little Johnny’s side at the classroom door. They will attempt to look wistful and will bravely square their shoulders as he turns to the entrance A Whole Grade Older than last year. They will nod sagely and wipe a sentimental tear away as one of the The New Parents limps past with her preschooler fastened securely to one leg screaming “I’M NOT GOINGGGGGGG”.
All of this emotion will be just so much more believable for teachers if parents would wait to perform the fist pump and the “BOO-yah” sequence until they are well out of sight of the classrooms.
But hey, no judgment here, because we all know that if we had to think up one more creative activity while vigorously yanking the Ipad out of our kids’ hands, there would be repercussions.
Just keep in mind while you drive away from the school gates that in 10 months your child’s teacher may also be tempted to publicly celebrate with the same enthusiasm.
I, for one, have absolutely no idea how my own family is going to get back into some semblance of a routine by the first day of school. We have been incapable of getting ourselves dressed and out of the house before noon all summer. It’s obvious that there is some need for a return to the structure and routine of the school year. I have compiled a helpful list of signs that this is, indeed, the case:
1) I have a feeling that my daughter bypassed all nutritional decorum and ate Nutella straight out of the jar for breakfast yesterday, judging by the chocolatey spoon in the sink. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that she ate a combination of palm oil and refined sugar for her first meal of the day or the fact that I’m not sure.
2) My kids need to go to sleep early. Because their parents need to be alone with their thoughts and perhaps even each other for more than 10 minutes before they themselves go to sleep.
3) I can’t solve another argument about a video game that I don’t understand. I. Just. Can’t.
4) The school has A/C , the bill for which I will never, ever see.
On the flip side, it’s my duty to remind you that from this day forward you will need to be checking your child’s backpack for notes in order to stay on top of such things as sending a unique vegetable to school so your child will never ONCE be the only one whose mom forgot. Because that stuff stays with you for LIFE, man. Also, the school uniforms need to be washed of rainy season closet mold. Once you wash them, you need to try them on your child to ensure that they no longer fit so that you can buy them a whole new wardrobe.
And, of course, best of all, you will need to begin the yearly adventure of inventing clever lunches that your children may actually eat.
Yes, folks, get on the ‘net and you will find helpful articles such as “A Million Creative and Fun Ways To Cut a Sandwich” or “180 Days of School Box Lunches, No Repeats”. Indeed, it’s time once again to devote several desperate hours each day to making sure your children are receiving proper nutrition at school while NEVER REPEATING THE SAME LUNCH… EVER.
Happy Back to School.
By Leza Warkentin